i hate cars and knees... especially when they're somehow combined

so, i have a long story.  i will start from the beginning

-car battery dies, i call campus security to charge it... does not start again

-wednesday night comes, i HAVE to make it home for my surgery the next day

-i call Dan and Joe to help me jump it, and the jump is sucessful so i start off toward David City.... BUT i stop for a blizzard first

-i'm driving, and every time i turn on my brights, the dashboard flickers... not a good sign

-in the 3 mile stretch between the highway that runs out of Wayne and the turn to Pilger, car DIES completely-no lights, no power steering after about 7 seconds, no idea where the sides of the road are which is not a good thing when you are traveling at 60 mph

-calmly turn my wheel to gently glide onto the shoulder

-does not happen

-power steering goes out and i hit a pothole then stop

-can't see a darn thing

-fumble for my phone and then calmly dial my parent's number

-start bawling when i hear their voices

-hide in my car with the doors locked and the windows up until the calvary arrives

-Joe, Dan, Mindy, Steph, and Meganda keep me company as we try to analyze the problem

-parents end up coming to get me because problem could happen again and they (as well as I) don't want to risk it

-get home at 3, get up at 7:30 to leave for Lincoln for my surgery

-have to wear a robe and walk by people in it (not fun, and rather awkward)

-get anasthezied and don't even know it until i wake up, then watch what the doc is doing again and then go under once more... without knowing it

-wake up and according to my mom, am babbling like a drunk person

-get home from all the errands we had to run in lincoln at about 4 30 pm

-realize that my knee is still numb at 12 00 am (which is about now)

-doctor still doesn't know what he took out, because he doesn't think it's cartilage, so my little lumpy poo has to get checked out in a lab

-realize that i didn't really need the whole scope thingy because the doctor ended up just cutting the darn thing out where it was and not going through the whole knee like i had thought he was going to do....

so all in all, this has been an eventful time, and i hope that my life isn't always this exciting

Germany

In a little over two months I will be taking a little trip with a good friend of mine.  We will be going to visit another friend of ours, KOLJA!!! We are traveling overseas to GERMANY!!! I can hardly wait.  In fact I think I wan't to leave RIGHT NOW!!!  We are leaving August 1st I believe.  We will be gone for about 2 weeks.  Kolja was a foreign exchange student at Seward High last year and a couple of friend and I got to be pretty close friends w/ her.  And I can't wait to see her.  We'll be flying out of Omaha, to Newark, NJ, then to Hamburg, no not Hamburger, Hamburg, then going to Bremmen and then I don't even know what.  Kolja's family has some fun things for us planned, but I'm not sure what they all are! I can't even wait!!!

I hope you read these lyrics from Keith Green and really ponder them and take them to heart...

Asleep in the Light

Do you see, do you see all the people SINKING down?

Don't you care, don't you care, are you gonna let them drown?

How can you be so NUMB, not to let them come?

You just close your eyes and pretend the job's done

"Oh bless me Lord, bless me Lord," you know that's all I ever hear

No one ACHES, no one HURTS, no one even sheds ONE TEAR.

But He cries, He weeps, He BLEEDS, and He cares for your needs.

And you just lay back and just keep soaking it in... oh can't you see it's such sin.

Cause He brings people to your door and you turn them away as you smile and pray

"God bless you, be at peace," and all heaven just WEEPS,

Cause Jesus came to your door, you've left Him out on the streets.

Open up, open up, and give yourself away. 

You see the need, you hear the cries, so how can you delay?

God's calling, you're the one, but like Jonah you run

He's told you to speak but you keep holding it in

Oh can't you see it's such sin

The world is sleeping in the dark that the church just can't fight cause it's asleep in the light

How can you be so dead, when you've been so well-fed?

Jesus rose from the grave and you, you can't even get out of your bed.

Jesus rose from the grave, come on, GET OUT OF YOUR BED!

How can you be so numb not to care if they come?

You close your eyes and pretend the job's done.

Don't close your eyes, don't pretend the job's done.

Come away, come away, come away with Me MY LOVE...

I don't know about you all, but that describes me to a T, and I don't like that...

Emily

-It is tough to do the right thing, when everything in you is screaming to do the wrong...

-It is hard to deal with the guilt of giving in to sin

-The hope of forgiveness is all that gets me through

-Lord, it is so hard sometimes I just feel like giving up...

-I feel like my heart is stained, but I know you have cleansed me on the cross

-For my friend that is falling, I pray that you catch him before he slips too far away, although you can reach across the universe, so there's never a place where you can't touch...

I'm sorry for not being stronger, but I will never stop trying (well, at least for not very long)

There is too much to be thankful for to focus on the bad...

-The smell after a spring rain

-The thought of seeing my family in less than 2 weeks

-My brother's St. Bernard that is incredibly cute!

-Knowing that no matter how much I worry for my future, you already have it planned down to the minute...

thank you

Currently Listening Carried Me: The Worship Project By Jeremy Camp Wonderful Maker (SOOOOO TRUE!!!!) see related

Amazing!!!

Tonight was tough.... that's all there is to it.  I've been kinda stressing about tomorrow (well at this point, it's so late that I can say it's today) because I have to perform like twice... and I've never really done that in my life.  I've never sang a whole song solo before, so it should be an experience to do it anywhere from 2 to5 times tomorrow.  I have to play and sing in our student concert at 4 on wednesday afternoon and then I have to sing again at WSC Idol wednesday night.  The thing that is stressing me is the fact that we had to sing a whole bunch today, so who knows how my voice will be tomorrow.  I also have to hit a high B flat, which I haven't ever gotten to my liking ever.  I am a perfectionist when it comes to singing and playing, so it's getting to me.  I also just learned that I am supposed to have music to sing to for WSC Idol tomorrow, and I am not even sure exactly what songs I am singing yet.... but there is hope....

I was laying in bed, trying to sleep (and obviously haven't gotten there yet because it's 1:45 am, and I'm still awake) and nothing I was doing was helping me sleep, so I just started giving all my stressors to God.  I had this picture in my head of Him just holding his arms open for a big bear hug, and I could just feel his arms around me comforting me and giving me peace.  It always amazes me that I try to make it on my own, when things could be just sooooooooooo much easier if I did everything to His glory.  It also saddens me that I only go to Him when I'm having a hard time... I don't like using Him as my fall-back. 

So my heart has been skipping lots of beats today, which is not a good thing.  It does it every once in a while, like maybe once a month, but today it's done it like 15 times... at one point I thought it stopped, which kinda scared me a little... I mean, you kinda need your heart to keep you going and all.  So if you remember, just pray for me and I will keep on rebuking that stupid devil that is trying to scare me and harm me.... he has no power here, for I am protected with the Blood of Christ, and anything that happens to me has to be through him.... not by any power of the devil at all.... so here's me sticking my tongue out at you, Satan... stay away!!! 

Create in me a clean (and healthy) heart, O God, renew a right spirit within me... Cast me not away from thine presence, O God, take not thine Holy Spirit from me... Restore unto me the JOY of my salvation (that all consuming, ever present fire that has to spread to others or else you will burn up with it) and renew a RIGHT SPIRIT within me...